Talk of the Town: Forget posterior, be kind to the drains

MODERN loo paper and disposable wet wipes mean it is much easier to be kind to your behind.

But it seems that in the Capital these conveniences are causing more and more blocked drains, with residents now being advised to reflect the austere attitudes of the Victorian era when the city sewer pipes were built.

Edinburgh drain doctor Doug Murray said his company was receiving an increasing number of calls from householders whose posterior pampering had left them unable to flush their toilets.

Explained Dr (of drains) Murray: "These new papers and wipes are not broken down by the flushing action in the same way as conventional toilet papers. They therefore remain as whole sheets which can cause blockages."

His rather unfortunate advice to residents wanting to avoid the problem was to put more thought into what they flush down the toilet.

Teuchtars firmly at centre of sporting excellence

AS sporting mottoes go the "Inebrius Maximus" which embellishes the crest of Edinburgh cricket club Teuchters lacks the gravitas of even, say, Blackburn Rovers' "arte et labore" meaning "by skill or hard work".

Nevertheless, Teuchters today stand at the centre of the sporting world (sort of) following a combined knock of 405-3 in division eight of the Baillie Gifford East Leagues against Murrayfield/DAFS 4th team.

At the heart of this 40-over slog was skipper Richie Bartsch who punished the bowling attack for 236 not out. "I should really have been run out on 200" said Richie, as he made light of the fact that Teuchters have chosen to appoint him, an Englishman, to their helm.

On the highway to heaven

IT IS known as the greatest motorway in the world, referred to as "the Mother Road" and beloved by tourists across the UK.

Residents in the Lothians are being offered the chance to become the UK's Route 66 Ambassador. The winner will get to travel along Route 66, experiencing everything it has to offer and then present their findings via an online blog.

Nominations can be made online until 23 May at www.gochicago.com

Don't go at a snail's pace

IF PEOPLE are a bit slow on the uptake that Saturday is National Escargot Day, the giant cardboard snails around the Capital should quickly hammer the point home.

Caf Rouge has announced that it will be hiding 20 of the faux-slimy suckers in various spots across the city centre this weekend.

Oversized snail bearers can then hand in their creepy crawlie for prizes including luxury French food hampers. The competition starts at 11am.