Andrew Arbuckle: Nothing juvenile about my plans to cash in on change

There are a number of reasons why people have children. Among these is the need for someone to demonstrate how to work a computer.

In somewhat similar vein, the next generation have a facility with the television remote control that is not given to many adults. And then there is the twice-a-year need for someone used to pressing little digital buttons to go all round the house, car and office changing the clocks.

Now it appears that there is a move afoot to change this juvenile workload by abandoning our current practice in favour of some other tweaking of the clock.

The trouble with farmers and farm workers and those in other occupations like bakers and posties is that we have traditionally risen too early in the day and we will be penalised if there is no "falling back in time in October and springing forward in time in March".

This early morning working group has always claimed they would be groping about in the dark and this adds danger to already dangerous occupations.

To be totally honest, I wondered if there was anything to add to this "changing the time" debate that has emerged mainly from the south of the country at irregular intervals throughout my entire life.

I further doubted whether to comment on this after I started to read what NFU Scotland had to say about the proposed change. There seemed to be, although I am sure they will deny this, a certain weariness in the beginning of their response - a sort of "oh no not this old chestnut again".

However, in reading further through the union's response, I found out they would welcome an independent analysis of the impact of changing the time.

Suddenly I could see an opportunity to make some money. I was thinking I would keep my powder dry on the issue because if the idea of carrying out an analysis is taken up, I would be quite prepared to take on the project.

There would, I reckon, be a hefty fee available for preparing such a report. I am well aware that financially sharp organisations such as the Scottish Agricultural College would be prepared to turn out a "time change" report on glossy paper with pie charts for say 250,000.

I do not want to start a bidding war but for information for those who might be commissioning a report on time change I can assure you my fee would be less than that. And if it made a difference, I would call myself a consultant because for some unaccountable reason that seems to impress.

To be honest, I do not think I could do proper justice to such a hefty issue without a few fact finding missions to other parts of the world because it would be necessary to compare how other countries deal with time changes.Southern hemisphere countries such as Australia and New Zealand would need to be checked out on their attitude to time change even if this research took me away from Scotland in the cold months of January and February.

I would of course do some of this work at home and without giving away all the information and revealing my recommendations, I would point to the fact that electricity is now quite widespread and it casts light on areas where darkness used to prevail.

Those who keep livestock indoors nowadays often use subdued lighting round the clock and those who drive tractors now have lights that would put a lighthouse to shame.

For the rest, I cannot quite recall how often I have written in my little notebook as some pundit in the agricultural world has opined "farmers adapt quickly to change".

Now I know this is true and I am confident those who work the land and keep the livestock would adapt to leaving their clocks totally alone.

I admit it would reduce the workload on the next generation with their six monthly tour of the premises changing the digital clocks.

Moving away from any messing about with the time would also reduce the possibility of people forgetting to do so and thereafter finding they have missed some important appointment.

Do not mock this as a possibility. It is not too many years ago, that one farm trade journal renowned for its comprehensive coverage of agricultural shows and livestock sales, thereby becoming an unquestionable authority, got it wrong.

They stuck a "change your clock" notice on their front page one week ahead of schedule and caused chaos at markets and meetings throughout the land as people wandered in late to meetings or missed their selling slot in the auction ring.

Everyone coped before they started mucking about with the clock in the last century and we are better equipped to deal with no mucking about with the time today.